What Was the Worst of It?
A story of exile, survival, and restoration - plus a podcast on trauma, healing, and coming home to self.
There are stories we carry in our bones before we ever find the words. This one has grown in me for decades — a story of exile and return, longing and silence, survival and the fragile search for shelter. Today, I share a piece of that story, and I invite you to join me for a deeper conversation on trauma, healing, and restoration. In my recent interview on the You World Order podcast, we explore the lasting imprint of childhood trauma, how gaslighting fractures reality, and what it means to come home to yourself through compassion, community, and cutting-edge therapies like EMDR and Brainspotting.
Maple for Chapparal, Published May 20, 2025 in Across the Margin:
The first time I am kicked out of my family’s home I am nine. Hot, angry tears stream down my cheeks as I set out in search of shelter, wandering the winding roads of the orchard valley that is my home. I roam between trees laden with apples and along the trickling creek where bullrushes emerge and mallards nestle between reeds. I pass the old yellow school bus that I know is open and know all too well has a bed in back, but where ghosts haunt my guilty memory of the teenager last summer. I rattle locks on rusty cars and sheds. I am trying the door to a neighbor’s llama barn when headlights find me…
Continue reading at https://acrossthemargin.com/maple-for-chaparral/
This week also brought the release of my recent interview on trauma healing with Jill Hart of the You World Order podcast where we discussed:
Why healing ourselves is the first step to healing the world
The ripple effect of childhood trauma and how it shows up in adulthood
Why gaslighting is more than manipulation—it's a dismantling of your reality
How trauma creates patterns that attract more pain until they’re healed
Why we tend to minimize our trauma—and why doing so delays healing
The transformational power of self-compassion and resonance-based community
Understanding EMDR and Brainspotting as cutting-edge trauma therapies
Practical ways to reconnect with safety in your body and mind
Listen, like, & comment on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or Substack at any of the links below:
https://www.theyouworldorderpodcast.com/spotify
https://www.theyouworldorderpodcast.com/apple
That’s all for this week! Thank you for being here with me. Stay tuned next week for a story on the underground problem of child marriage in the USA and around the world, the trauma impacts on children and society, and what you can do to make a difference. You have more power than you know!
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Deborah, again beautiful writing. your words and images resonate so fully. I am so moved by your sharing such a powerful and vulnerable journey.
This is so powerful, Deb. Thank you so so so much for sharing the vulnerability of your journey.