25 Comments
User's avatar
Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Beautifully put, Deborah. We don't talk nearly enough about this kind of vicarious trauma and ambiguous loss ❤

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

It's too easy to dismiss thinking about this when we're anti-war - but that's not fair either. Thank you for reading!

Amy Thomas's avatar

For all those who suffer this trauma

I thank you with an open heart, grateful for the freedom I benefit from. I pray that in someway .. you

feel comfort , safe now and patient care that satisfies and brings joy

Melissa Rider Carson's avatar

Thank you for outlining things that I loosely understood but fully grasp.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Thank you for reading and considering!

Anima Martins's avatar

My heart goes out to all of you. I pray for supernatural peace to flood their souls and healing and wish understanding from the society.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Yes, Amen. 🙏🩵

Lynn J. Broderick's avatar

With a son in the Navy, I can definitely relate to this. Thankfully, my son is safe right now. But that could change.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

I hope it does not change. 🙏

Beth O’Brien, Ph.D.'s avatar

HI Deborah

I shared this essay with my military friends.

Thanks for writing!

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Thank you for sharing! I hope it lands softly with them.

Cindy Miller's avatar

I am an Army Brat...and lost My Dad a year ago. He was 93 years old; my person; my connection to who and why I am me😢. Thank You for Understanding me❣️🙏❤️ God Bless You❣️❣️🙏

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Oh wow. Thank you for sharing that. How precious to have him for so many years - but that doesn't make the loss easier, does it? Blessings to you, too. 💗

curlyQ's avatar

Amen 💕

A Quiet Saga's avatar

This is powerful. We are a military family too, and I really felt your words about the invisible emotional toll, the waiting, and the complexity military families carry. You wrote about that liminal space with so much compassion and truth.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Thank you! I'm so glad this landed well with you and felt honoring of your lived experience. Thank you for all you do and the sacrifices your family makes.

Jess, The Creator's avatar

Hi, Dr. Deborah! Thank you so much for sharing your experience and sharing such a vital topic. This is a very informative and eye-opening piece! Everyone needs to read it!

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Thank you, Jessica! I appreciate you sharing it, too. 🙏

Jess, The Creator's avatar

anytime, of course!!

Mimi's avatar
Mar 15Edited

Another profoundly insightful essay. So needed in this time, for all of us to understand the ongoing trauma of our service members and their families.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Thank you, Mimi! I hope bridges of understanding help create a world of increased mutual support and kindness.

How We Get Through This's avatar

Deborah, thank you for writing on this important topic. Military families go through so much! I really appreciate the care and understanding your article displayed.

Thank you to you and your husband for all the sacrifice on our behalf!

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Thank you! My husband left the military for other government service long ago, and has since left that too. For us, it's a distancing memory. For many others, it's a tense present reality.