This subject has been on my mind a lot lately, both in my client work and my personal life. I think the nuances you describe here are so important. People are not black and white, good or evil. The challenge is, eventually, to hold the complexities of both, and you name that so well here.
thank you, ,Vicki. Sometimes it is easier not to try, to attach harsh labels to others and wash our hands of complexity, but I think the rocky road can be rewarding. (also true of the ice cream flavour. ;) )
Oh Deborah, you strike the balance beautifully. You are sharing your story with so much grace and with all of the nuance the subject deserves.
So many of your words in this essay landing for me; this is one of the ones that felt visceral: "Intimacy is not built on niceness or fresh coats of paint over rotted wood."
Thank you for sharing a part of your story in a way that felt both intimate AND instructive and full of empathy.
This subject has been on my mind a lot lately, both in my client work and my personal life. I think the nuances you describe here are so important. People are not black and white, good or evil. The challenge is, eventually, to hold the complexities of both, and you name that so well here.
thank you, ,Vicki. Sometimes it is easier not to try, to attach harsh labels to others and wash our hands of complexity, but I think the rocky road can be rewarding. (also true of the ice cream flavour. ;) )
This jumped out at me: "Someone may have hurt you, and also have qualities you love. That doesn’t make you a hypocrite. It doesn’t make you weak."
I describe this as yes-and. Life is complex and we often hold two seemingly opposite things together.
My dad also apologized to me and it was such a significant moment. Thanks for sharing your story.
Oh Deborah, you strike the balance beautifully. You are sharing your story with so much grace and with all of the nuance the subject deserves.
So many of your words in this essay landing for me; this is one of the ones that felt visceral: "Intimacy is not built on niceness or fresh coats of paint over rotted wood."
Thank you for sharing a part of your story in a way that felt both intimate AND instructive and full of empathy.
“Reconciliation is not revision. Nor does it demand it.” - thanks for sharing that reflection