27 Comments
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Jessica Drapluk's avatar

This is a beautifully written piece, Deborah! I really enjoyed the old photos you shared with us. I think every human on earth needs to read this piece to cultivate better communication, connection, and community.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Thank you! What a high compliment. I do hope it reaches and helps many. Thank you for reading!

Dr. Bronce Rice's avatar

Deborah - Thank you for sharing a bit of your background on friendship and the importance of it from a health and wellness standpoint. Yes, the news puts a bit of a frown on my face regularly these days. So a good reminder to call my younger brother and check on him and his wife/kids.

I also remember to smile at people I come across that I don't know.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Such good practices, both for yourself and others! 💗

Kathy Gregg's avatar

So much of what you wrote in this piece resonates with me, and gives me much to think about. I'm 69 and five years ago I moved across the country to reinvent myself after retirement, from Florida to Colorado. You're right, friendship is so important. I had friends here already when I moved here and made a couple of new ones my first day here. It has made all the difference in my experience in my new home state. I went on a day trip up to the Rockies today with a friend, just to play at high altitude. We shopped, we ate, we checked out the international snow sculpture championship in Breckenridge, and we had a blast. Nothing earth shattering, just a day in the snow-capped mountains, both an ordinary and extraordinary day at the same time. The perfect antidote to loneliness.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Kathy, that sounds like a wonderful day! I'm so glad you've found your community in CO. 💖

Kathy Gregg's avatar

Thank you so much!!

Next 30, Your Terms's avatar

This is so tender and honest.

You captured something many of us carry quietly, that friendship shapes us deeply, even when it doesn’t last forever, and that loneliness is not a personal failing but a human wound. Reading this felt like being gently reminded that needing others is not weakness, it’s design.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Yes, precisely! We are meant for connected relationship.

Divyang Dhyani (D. Dhyani)'s avatar

I genuinely loved this. You reminded me how real connection isn’t automatic. It’s shaped in the spaces between laughter, silence, and shared history.

Reading your story made me think about the friendshps I’ve lost and the ones that still matter because we chose each other again and again, even across distance and time.

There’s so much value in remembaring that belonging isn’t just about proximity, it’s about presence, curiosity, and showing up for one another.

Really grateful for this perspective.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Showing up for one another and being genuinely present are essential, and such gifts. 💖

Karen's avatar

Dr. Friendtastic is a great Substack with friendship advice for children.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Excellent, thanks for sharing the resource!

Julie Neches's avatar

Thank you for writing this heartfelt post about the importance of connection and the need to overcome loneliness. You provide hope and support!

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Thank you, Julie! 🙏🩵

Julie Neches's avatar

You are welcome! Thank you for writing this post!

curlyQ's avatar

Thank you, Deborah. I love this piece! You brought so many helpful points together, beautifully.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Thank you! I'm so glad it resonated.

The Therapist Who Came Undone's avatar

I love this piece. It is so important. Our need for each other is what makes us human and what ultimately can save us (individually and globally...I think).

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

I think so, too! 💛

Janet Scanlon's avatar

What lovely thoughts and advice you have given us Deborah. Just last night I picked up "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran once again and read a quote I have always had in my memory! His answer to the youth that asked him to Speak to us of Friendship. He answered, "In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed".

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

That's beautiful! 💖 Thank you for sharing.

How We Get Through This's avatar

Wow, Deborah! This piece is insightfully and beautifully written. I imagine this piece will hit just the right spot for so many people. Thank you for all your efforts!

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Oh, thank you! I do hope it does. 💖

How We Get Through This's avatar

BTW, the pics of you are just adorable.

Dr Deborah Vinall's avatar

Ha ha! Thanks. I almost deleted the 13 year old one because that stage feels so cringe! But sometimes you just gotta get over yourself, ya know?! And can we just enjoy the glory of those big poopy bangs together?!! 😆

How We Get Through This's avatar

Right?! I mean come on we ALL have those pics =D That’s what is so sweet. +D